- to make a search or quest.
- a pursuit
- 'in the hunt' - having a chance of success (that result keeps us in the hunt).
It's in a Man's nature to hunt. Whether it is for a better life or a partner. Ladies, you know this. What many of you forget is that this same necessity to hunt continues to be in his nature once he's found a partner, once he's found you. Sure his need for one manifestation of fulfilling that need (re: searching for a partner) ends but where many woman make the mistake is thinking that his nature has changed. It hasn't. We are men, we still need to hunt. Insert dreams & ambitions here. A man who is actively pursuing a goal larger than what he's already attained will continue to satisfy his need to hunt in one vital way. The other way, ladies this is where you come in, is for his partner to simulate, on her part, the same circumstances that began when the two began their dance of attraction, seduction & (hopefully) love.
You see 'letting yourself go' ladies - a term that though I'm not fond of is understood when used to encompass a plethora of actions both men & women take once they've become stagnant or as some wrongly describe it 'comfortable' in their relationship.
Side note - one should be comfortable in their relationship I'd argue from the onset or very close to it. The appearance of nerves/fear only affirms the belief that one cares at some level. Don't believe me? You remember talking to someone of the opposite sex that you had no desire for? How nervous were you then? Now think about the first times you spoke to someone which you had an incredible affinity for. Bet you were a wreck inside with nerves/fear. That's because you cared. We don't fear that which we don't care for - or a step further our fear grows as our desire to attain or loose something does. Side note done.
So what can you do as a woman to continue to quench your man's need to hunt - allow him to hunt you. Make him again hunt you. Do some of the things that you did during the courting phase. Seduce him, yearn him, let him know he pleases you - and not just sexually. Be excited by him after time apart, send him dirty texts, hold his pursuit in high regard. I don't have to give you many examples because you know exactly what to do. Basically all the things you did to 'win' his heart in the first place.
Am I suggesting that as you grow in years that you should continue to do the things that you did when y'alls "us" was born? Indubitably! To an extent.
"But Mark our relationship has changed as the months/years have passed - that's not fair to expect that" is what I hear most at seminars when I put this idea forward. "You expect me to do my hair every time I'm going to see my husband?" Yes. Okay, not every time is my answer with a smile.
Look it sounds extraordinary but isn't that the kind of love we all deserve?! Isn't that the kind of love you deserve ladies?!
I get it, relationships transform but shouldn't they become more intimate and there for more deeply intertwined as security in love grows?
Sure it takes work but that's what keeps the relationship growing. That's what keeps us as men fully invested, and that's what keeps you as women fully invested.
Bottom line of this session is this: like you Ladies Men have hard wired needs that stay in our system until our geriatric years (and some right to old age death). If you desire to keep your man, your partner whom you love happy, if you desire to continue to grow your relationship you've got to address these needs.
And remember if it isn't growing it's dying. That's life. There is no such thing as 'staying the same'. That's called stagnant.
And love, though many things, has no room for stagnant. It's passion & desire doesn't allow it.
Thank you for your time Ladies.
Thank you for your continued support.
Mark Sparks is a certified practitioner of NLP, certified Conditioning specialist & host of The Men's Room a show dedicated to dating, relationships, sex and the pursuit of a higher form of male existence and excellence through conduct befitting a gentleman.