Monday, August 18, 2014

Control (the illusion).

Control is an illusion. We live under this illusion and allow it to cause us stress, to cause us anxiety and to cause us needless pain because it doesn't exist. Not outside of ourselves.

We cannot control the weather. We cannot control the time. We cannot control traffic or the actions of others. We cannot control feelings outside of our own, or reactions, or understandings, or compassion or behaviour or choices outside of our own.

This is where the illusion fuses with the reality. We can control only one thing in this world: ourselves and even that has a limit. We cannot control when we die, or when we catch a cold or when we cannot fall asleep the night before a big day when we are laying in bed knowing that we should really fall asleep.

What we can control is how we choose to interact with the world as we interact with the world. We can control taking habitual action towards our dreams. We can control treating people with dignity and respect - even if they don't like being treated with dignity and respect. We can control, with practice, our emotions. We can control, to a limited degree, our physical ability. We can control very little but that little can create so very much.

So today, before You get worked up or angry or sad or anxious about things that are out of Your control remember that the very feeling that You are feeling or about to feel that You don't want to feel, well You can take steps to control that. And that's no illusion.


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Friday, August 1, 2014

Self Love: The key to Loving Others (#LearningToLove)

So often, and with the best of intention, we seek to love others or more specifically to share love with others. Here's the thing: we cannot give something from ourselves which is not within ourselves. I mean we can try, but You know what Yoda said about trying.
We are best equipped to give to others what we have in abundance, what we habitually plant and harvest internally. That's one of the reasons self love is so important - it allows us to love others, and then in a relationship (Friendship or the intimate variety) amplify that love to bring greater joy, peace and all that other good stuff relationships "are supposed to" - You know, that love that we dream about, that we read about in story books and see in movies.
Self love is the key to loving others. Because we cannot give what we do not have.


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