Tuesday, November 15, 2011

"Love Is Cursed By Monogamy"...

For much of my adulthood I've been somewhat of a nomad - traveling here and their in pursuit of my dream which is destined to me. On my journey I've been fortunate to meet many people who have added to my life and blessed to have my light spill into the path of others.
Recently I read something from an exceptional young man. His words "Love is cursed by monogamy."
This statement began me thinking. Is this the reason that many cannot remain faithful to one person? The reason why a company such as Ashley Madison can not only exist but flourish. Is love truly cursed by monogamy?
I mean stats go on to say that half of marriages that begin will end, and that many of the half that don't end isn't due to anything more than obligation (familial or financial most often). Hmmm... Love, cursed by monogamy huh?

When we think about biology - we are one of the only species who "mate for life" or at least are expected to. I mean most other species have a very specific purpose - to continue the species. So, monogamy goes out the window because the male of the species particularly is supposed to spread his genetic code as far as possible. So maybe love is cursed by the binding gates of monogamy.

That is, if you are being monogamous out of obligation and not any reasons deeper. What do I mean?
Sure, there is always a time on any journey where we do things strictly out of obligation to our duties and our word. But if we are to live life in obligation, doesn't that obligation become a curse?

And that's when I came to the explanation to my immediate reply to the words "Love is cursed by monogamy." My view?

"Monogamy is a curse without love."

Just like anything else, if we don't have a purpose that is greaeter than any 'challenge' (ie monogamy - c'mon let's be real, it is a challenge) we are not going to rise to the occasion, so to speak.

Monogamy must come from love. From a desire to be with one person, just that person and no other person. Monogamy must flow from within, from a place of "I don't even want to" instead of "I want to but I won't."
It's like discipline that comes from love & discipline that comes from fear. Sure they both work but one has a much shorter shelf life (don't believe me? Read up on the cause of some of these dictatorship topplings).

So not only is it possible but very probable to be monogamous and not feel the plight of 'the curse' of love.
Monogamy is a curse without love, but it is a blessing with it.
At least that's what I know...

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You hit the nail on the head. I'm only 21 and I've had my share of intimacy with women but only once have I been in love and that is right now. But the catch is the girl I love was not faithful to me, and even when I could have cheated on her I chose not too. Love has to be felt by both persons. In my case I loved her more than she loved me. I feel utterly confused and even frightened at the thought of marriage but like you said monogamy is a curse without love and I feel i'm cursed to never fully love again