Friday, March 21, 2014

You Are Incredible. (Likes Cannot Prove That). #TheArtOfRelating #LearningToLove

#TheArtOfRelating

Tools do not create anything, they are just tools. We create things.
When the right tool is used they make a task simpler to complete. When the wrong tool is used the task becomes more difficult. Don't believe me? Well the next time You need to hammer a nail reach for a screw driver. 

#Facebook, #Twitter, #Instagram and the like are tools. 
Social media is a tool that allows Us to quickly and easily share & exchange information. When we utilize these tool for another purpose - say as the place where we build Our self esteem and self worth - they fail. When we post a picture for the purpose of 'getting likes' (which is the new version of getting approval) we miss the purpose of the social media tool and we do Ourselves a great disservice. 
We cannot control who or how many people 'like' Our pictures and if that is the way We are getting boosts in self esteem and self confidence then that is the moment we relinquish control of growing in those areas as well.
Do not live by the praise of people, 
or You will die by the blade of their criticism.
Who You are is wonderful. You DO NOT need approval or praise from anyone to know that. What You may need is encouragement to explore all the parts of You that make You wonderful and beautiful. What You may need is someone to help You find other tools to serve You on Your pursuit of Your greatest, most exceptional You. What You may need is support in remembering the fact that You are already amazing and that all You need to do is strip away some of the crap that You have been taught that You need in order to 'fit in' and be amazing. What You may need is to rediscover Your purpose & reignite Your fire to make it happen. What You DO NOT need is approval. Or picture likes. Or for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Fashion Magazines or the like to tell You that You aren't able to be 'good enough' without their approval because You are more than good enough, You are great.
You are incredible. All You may need is to rediscover that daily.

Here' 2 quick exercises to help You with finding tools that serve You:
1. We all need work in one aspect of Our lives. What is one area in which You are not shining as brightly as You can? How do You see Yourself with Your ability and experience and uniqueness able to actually shine in that area? What steps must You take in order to get from where You are to where You desire to be? Write them down! Step 1... Step 2... Step 3...
Done? Good. Now Break down each step into a nice chewable bite. Done that? Good. Now go and start the first bite. Today. Seriously.

2. Write down all the things that make You special. The silly things that make You unique that You do as well or better than anyone You actually know. What is Your most beautiful feature to You? What is Your second most beautiful feature to You?
Write them down and add to the list at least once a month. Why? Because You are incredible. 


Excuse me, I've got some more uncovering to do.
Happy discovering.

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Sunday, March 2, 2014

Poem - Chase Your Heart (I Will Not)


We're so close
Yet the distance 'tween us is still amazing
And I am all for the pursuit
But I'm far from signing up for chasing
Cause I understand if it'll happen
It's got to be willingly
So convincing of any kind
To get to "I do"
Simply won't do for me
Let's promise to be honest
Or as the kids say "keep it real"
And I promise I'll do many things
To show - never to prove - how I feel
So let's close the gap together
One joy filled step at a time
And we don't got to jump to quick to
"I'm Yours" & "You're mine"
Cause I've got no problem being patient
Plus I'd be a fool not to wait
So I'll happily pursue Your heart
But Your heart I will not chase.





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Thursday, February 20, 2014

Talent & luck: Overrated Variables in the Success Equation.

Talent, like luck, is an overrated variable in being successful. Whether in career, in the gym or in relationships few people can achieve the success they desire - whatever that means to each individual - without consistent and committed hard, smart work. Just showing up at the gym, at work or in a relationship is a great way to end up in the land of mediocre and mediocre has yet to be inspiring to anyone that I know of. I mean look at the pictures of physiques people post as motivation or the stories of relationships & financial freedom that people post as inspiration. Rarely, if ever, are these posts about the mediocre. I'm not saying that one has to aim to climb a mountain, have a six pack or own a jet to be successful unless that is YOUR definition of success. And if it isn't who really cares?! Why would You want to achieve what someone else desires?! I am saying that we each have a definite desire and we each deserve to achieve and live that desire in this life. In order to do so we need a few definite things, one of which is the understanding that people who are 'more successful' than us aren't so because they are luckier or more talented (even if they are more naturally talented than us) but instead because they execute a smart plan habitually (whether daily or even hourly). They set benchmarks and they work towards them one by one. They make it their habit to get great at their craft. Most of us do not achieve what we desire and deserve not because of a lack of talent or ability or luck but rather a lack of passionate, purpose driven, habitual execution of a plan which we routinely measure and manage. If we are to rise to where we desire and deserve to be then we must create habits that serve us in that aim. We must create habits that create opportunities or rather ready us to see and take hold of the opportunities we are blessed with. We've got to educate ourselves, push ourselves, surround ourselves with people who inspire us & call us to a standard that is befitting our ability and desires. And we've got to stop believing in the esoteric idea of success & embrace the fact that building what we truly desire has little, if nothing at all to do with talent or luck.
M.


 
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Monday, February 17, 2014

"The Only Place I Chase Pain Is..." (#LearningToLove)


This wasn't always the case. Luckily, thankfully,
I'm finally #LearningToLove


Relationships are places we go to amplify whatever we are feeling. When we seek them in search of something that we don't yet have or with something that we don't quite desire we end up causing ourselves - I ended up causing myself and others - pain. And when we don't learn to acknowledge this pain we end up seeking it instead of seeking the amazing & transformational power relationships are meant to have, and that is to amplify the wonderful array of feelings & emotions we are meant to enjoy. Without a doubt challenges will arise and are a part of every relationship but they shouldn't habitually bring pain nor should we - should I - expect it in our relationships. At least that's my conclusion. And why now the only place I chase pain is in the gym, or during hill runs or track sprints (gosh darn those things hurt!) and not in my relationships.


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Friday, February 14, 2014

Poem - End the Pursuit (Chasing You) #LearningToLove

It's been a while
Since I've been chasing You
Do us a favor and
End the pursuit
Take me captive
Cause that'll set us free
Uncaged birds'll fly high
To our destiny
And maybe then
We will make the leap
To that magic place
We've only seen in our dreams
A living fantasy
You & me
Let's get together Love
Make some memories
A comfy place built on trust
That'll burn the pain away
Passionate blaze
Will melt our pride away
Build a house of love
To last for always...


It's been a while
Since I've been chasing You
Do us a favour and
End the pursuit




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Monday, February 10, 2014

Poem - Walls (#LearningToLove an excerpt)



"...protection is impossible for the heart always finds a way out, a way back.  To try & figure it out would be to try and understand infinity, to attempt to quantify "forever" or "for always" which is an impossible feat. As much so as..."  
-"Learning To Love" an excerpt.


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Monday, February 3, 2014

Poem - Jigga What? (Moment Of Clarity/Song Cry) or 'How I felt after seeing Jay-Z in Concert'

In my mind for awhile
No brother was any bigger
But I was all confused when I went
To see my brother Jigga
He had a bunch of white folks
Chanting out the word 'nigga'
My big brother broke my heart
Damn go figure
That my moment of clarity
Would come when I went to see Jigga
And I can't see 'em coming down my eyes
So I got to let my words cry
I can't see 'em coming down my eyes
So I'ma just let my words cry
Out that what I saw was bullshit
And I'm having a cow
Confused as hell
Trying to figure out how
We've gone backwards so far
And so gosh darn fast
Don't believe me?
Listen to rap music
Where I hear repeatedly on the radio
About 'niggers' & 'bitches' & 'gettin' ass'
Oh, and fast cash
So fast that we're taught
To use rubber bands as wallets
Cause it's made to quickly
Snap from our pockets
But now I'm stating the obvious
On one hand there's a president
Who is a 'minority'
But on the other we turn words of hate
Into the majority
A new form of slavery
With a new kind of master
And if we don't start paying attention
We're headed for disaster
For a terrible mess
For a repeat of history
Because the direction we are going
Leads back to where we used to be
Or maybe that's just me
My brother Jigga
Came to my home town
Sold out the ACC
And during his show
He confused the hell outta me
Now I'm searching for answers
Sad, working to figure out 'why'
But since
I can't see 'em coming down my eyes
I gotta let my words cry (words cry)
I can't see 'em coming down my eyes
So I gotta let my words cry…




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