Enjoy The Experience... ©

One of the fastest ways we discourage ourselves is to believe that we ought to be experts before we fully enjoy & embrace the experience. We cannot take flight until we first master walking so each step is one closer to what we desire not a punishment for not yet arriving at our destination. We can travel through and to, but we must do so one step at a time. 

In being blessed to work with people, navigating them to what they deserved and desired I have seen this phenomenon time and time again - they start at one place and expect to get to their goal in far less time than it took for them to get to where they are. What do I mean? Well, take being overweight for instance. This doesn't happen because of the one donut eaten yesterday or the  bag of chips from the day before. One doesn't put on excessive weight because they skipped one workout a week ago or a month ago. Excessive weight gain happens over a long period of time and is facilitated by a number of bad habits that one takes on. These habits don't come upon us overnight so whey should we believe that the new habits we are instituting into our lives would happen instantly. Yes, change happens in an instance for change is but a decision but that is the first step! Each day we must reinforce that decision with many other decisions - some of which are exact opposite of the habits we have built over time. It is through this conscious thought process that we are able to trade the habits that don't serve us in our pursuit of what we deserve & desire into one's that do serve us! It is through this consistent commitment to ourselves and our passion, through preparation and planning and perseverance in our execution do we create what we desire and deserve. And this all takes time so give yourself the time to change, to grow and to fully enjoy and embrace the journey for it is on the walk that we truly gain our wings.
Just sayin'... 

Bless,
Mark

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Success = Understanding + Action. ©

Success in our lives, however we define it, never happens because of what we know but when we actively apply our knowledge to our actions. Understanding without application is worthless in the pursuit of success. Or in working on that summer body.

For instance, we all know that we should "eat better" and "work out". I've been a Conditioning Specialist for over a decade and I've never met a client who wanted to loose weight tell me that they thought the 3 Big Mac's a week with large fries and apple pies was serving them in reaching their weigh loss goals. But they ate them anyways.

What things do you do in your daily life that don't serve you towards getting what you desire and deserve? What habits do you have (that you may not even be aware of) that you continually work with that hindering you from getting to where you desire to be? How are you not effectively using what you know to get what you want? And the money question: what steps are you going to use to institute habits that apply your knowledge (and the knowledge of others who know how to get what you desire) to get to your desired destination?

Knowing is worthless if we aren't doing what we know. An idea unimplemented is a great thought but of little value in this world and of even less value in getting us to where we wish to be. One of the secrets to success isn't thinking of being successful (whatever that means to you) but thinking of being successful and then acting on that thought in as many ways as possible until that thought becomes your reality.

Understanding + Action = Success.
Now I've got to get to the gym...
Bless,
Mark

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Desire: hope vs. Obsession ©

"There is but one thing in this world that I am determined to have, and that is_________________."

If we cannot answer this, to ourselves in truth & with conviction what we want is simply a wish, a hope & not a desire.

Desire to attain an end can never be a hope, or a wish but must transcend into something which closely resembles, no, is obsession! This sounds extreme when talking about going after one's goal but isn't it the way we create habits by which we live by? Isn't it how we continue to cycle of action & thought in our lives that doesn't serve us towards what we desire for ourselves?

"Obsession - the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, desire, etc."
When all you can think about during the work day is getting home to sit on the couch & watch "that" show, eat "that junk food" and veg isn't that obsession?

When you are, in hopes of loosing weight, always fretting food, thinking about how clothes don't fit you, wishing that you looked different isn't that obsession?

The only difference is that in both cases the obsession don't serve towards. The second, in particular (which I've come upon countless times in my 10years+ working with clients) is actually an obsession with being 'fat' - which is the exact opposite of what is desired!

If I want my relationship with my partner to work - I must know exactly that & what that entails!
If I want my workout & diet plan to work, I must know exactly where I want my body and spirit to go & a bunch of ways to get there!
If I want to be a success in my work, I must have a measuring stick for what "success" is & continually check myself against it to ensure I'm traveling the path I need to in order to attain my definition of success!

Desire must be specific. It must move you to action which serve the purpose of the desire. But first any desired success must become the dominating thought & thus the dominating magnetization of people, places & circumstances which allow your efforts to be multiplied & your actions rewarded with the desire with which you seek.

Thoughts are things. Manage them. Protect them. Make sure they're in line with your desires & revisit them often making adjustments accordingly.
If we do, the rewards for these consistent efforts is greatness! The rewards are the attainment of the things we have dreamed for our lives!
That's something worth obsessing about, in habitual thought & action.
Blessing & joy to you on your journey.
With gratitude,
Mark.

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Thinkin About You.©

I'm sitting here thinking 'bout
How we worked out
So long ago
And got strong
Together even though
We was so different
We made an effort to make it work
I admired then
And still do now your quirks
They way you do things
You say is different than I
Yet you swear
We'd be able to survive
But our show
Though sweet
Didn't get resigned
And I'm hear
Picking up the pieces
Wondering deep in my mind
Wandering deep within my thoughts
Hoping to find an answer
Among all this loss
D'ah well
A tornado like force
Swept me up & put me down
Could've heard the weatherman's warning
Had a chance to stay dry & warm
But then I'd have missed this beautiful rainbow
That came out after the storm
Plus playing in the rain
Opened up my heart
And in part
Helped me to be whole
Filled a void in my soul
So I say thank You
As I sit here thinking about You...

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Poem - Ni**as In Paris (I Am Not) ©

We scream for Trayvon
Yet "Nigga's in Paris" plays on
It's a habitual thought process
We need to eradicate
In order to facilitate
The growth of our people
From subordinates
And into equals
Born with equal rights
To live, prosper and fight
For that in which we believe
Born to lead
Born to be
Greater than we are
Born to shine like stars
But instead of shining our own light
We're told to buy "bling" and shine that light
Which, we're told, makes us shine bright
But it's a dim solution
With an even dimmer future
If we keep spending our means
On things with no meaning
Cause that habitual thought process
Is the one that keeps us needing
More than we have
Fiscally, spiritually and in rights
And if we continue to fight
Each other
Kill our brothers
How are we supposed to trust one another?
I've never heard a person of Jewish decent
Speak of the holocaust as if it were anything less
Than a cataclysmic tragedy
And yet black people we
Continue to wear "nigger" like a badge of pride
Misguided
By this system
To listen
To songs that spit them
Lyrics that we take into
Our everyday language
Which we take into
Our everyday thoughts
Which we live
In our everyday actions
Which become our
Everyday actions
Nigger.
A word used to bond slaves
To take away a man's worth
To give an individual a nasty group name
Nigger
A word created out of pure hate
Made to disgrace
And separate a man or woman from who they truly are.
Nigger
A word to make the eyes not see
The lush & rich history
That a people have come from
And where we ought to strive to be.
Nigger
Wear your pants so I can see your underwear
Cause that "casual style" tells me you don't really care
And that "casual style" teaches you not to care
About your self worth cause I know
Any man worth anything to himself
Doesn't go about showing his ass while building up himself
And as a side note in jail
If you want to show off your availbility
You'd wear your pants so that other willing participants could see
Your ass
Think about that.
We are not nigga's by any stretch
Not in Paris or anywhere else
We've got to lift up ourselves
Embrace with self love
Give our own self worth a hug
Forget all the bull
And the material right now wealth
Work to take care of your family, community and self
Live by God's law
Execute your plan
Stand up black people
Cause we are descendants of Kings, Queens and survivors
I write from my heart with love but
I just need you to understand
I am no nigger
I am a proud black man.

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An Excerpt From My ...

We're being fooled!©

Fooled into thinking we need more when we don't even value what we already have. Fooled into investing in the meaningless instead of spending our resources on that with value.What has value? Well here's a starting list for me

1. Education (whether in our out of a traditional school)
2. Building a family & a future for them that is easier than my own
3. Learning to communicate effectively
4. Learning a new language.
5. Living the values I hold true
6. Working out
(A person cannot learn to master the soul until they first learn to master the body)
7. Learning to master my soul
8. Learning to decipher my heart.
9. Meditation.
10. Love...(learning how to more, sharing, being...)

That's a start to my list. What's yours? So here's the kicker, people tell me everyday what they want (side note I've worked with people one on one, in groups and in large gatherings during my time as a Conditioning Specialist, Coach and Paid Minister over the last 15 years. Yes I'm older than you think).

People spend countless amounts of energy hoping to convince me, and themselves that they believe what they are saying - yet they do nothing to change.

Habits rule. I don't care what you say, give me 5 minutes and I'll prove it to you. Habits make us who we are on a daily basis - not who we'd like to be or who we think we are but WHO WE ARE. And here's something I've noticd recently - we are habitually being fooled!We are fooled by media as to what "beauty is" (Sorry, big breasts and long legs just doesn't cut it!)

We are fooled by fitness folks (ummm, the 10 minute trainer, for only 10 minutes a day?! I don't think so!)

We are fooled by family and friends (you can't do that)

And most we are fooled by ourselves! Us! We fool ourselves into not going after what we (say) we so desperately desire!!! What the heck?!?!

What are your values? You ever stop and actually think about this? Okay, go ahead. Now write down 10 things you hold as values in your life (morals, beliefs, characteristics...
Go ahead, I'll wait....)

Still waiting...Still waiting for ya....Good .Now that you've got ten (you've got ten right?!) I want you to ask yourself where did these values come from. Mom & Dad? T.V? It's a scary exercise because you may find that (gasp) you don't even know why you hold something important!Phase two - of your values, which of the ten (ten right, or ten write?) do you make an effort to intertwine daily into your habit? For instance you say "being physically healthy" is one of your values, how do you habitually intergrate that into your life.... You don't you say? Well guess what, it isn't really a value of yours! Because what you value you habitually do. The end.

We are being fooled. We are fooled into believing that what we say is who we are. We are fooled into spending time & energy on things that don't matter & not on our future, our growth and the things WE SAY WE VALUE!

Deep breath Mark.... Ahhhh...Look, I'm all for fashion, heck I've walked a runway or two in my life. But fashion shouldn't come at the expense of our future, or our Children's futures. Or our dreams.Take this in:

Most of us Overestimate what can be done in a short time
(1 week, 4 weeks, 3 months)
and UNDERestimate what can be done in a longer time
(6 months, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years!)

Make a plan. Find a professional (or a group of 'em) & mentors to run your plan by. Get council (from those who have done what you set out to do) and listen to it. Find the habits of success. Oh, ignore advice cause that almost always comes from folks who tell you why it can't be done because they haven't done it/are to scared to do it/don't know what to do/never wanted to do it but wanted to say they wanted to do it (Whoa ala Joey - told you I was older than you thought.)

You want a stellar relationship? Find examples of many and learn. Don't believe 'cause your folks divorced you'll have to.You want great finances? Stop taking financial advice from people with the same amount or less money than you! And stop buying every piece of bullshit that catches your eye! (No I'm not rich but I've worked for myself for half a decade and traveled extensively doing it. A simple way to increase income is to stop having it outgoing on bullshit!)

You want to get into shape? Well put down the bag of chips/donut/starbucks lappafrappa whatever it is you keep putting in your mouth that's giving you a shape alright and get to work. You want some expert advice for free?! That's right you don't want no damn advice (good job.) Here's some council (from a former Calvin Klein Man of Steel) start walking way more and eating way less crap. And drink more gosh darn water - as in trade every beverage you drink for 30 days for water (that'll solve the bottle popping problem in the club as well!)

Blah...Blah...Blah.Bottom line? Stop being fooled. By others and mostly by self.Tell the truth, examine the truth, write a new truth that serves you more.Need help? It's what I do.
Bless,
Mark Sparks

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